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The Daily Word in the ArtBar, Bigfoot and OMG raccoons

The Daily Word

It's Wednesday, July 2,

and ArtBar by Catylyst Club will be closing its doors due to problems with the State Alcohol and Firearms department,

Joline Gutierrez Krueger of the Journal is freaking out about raccoons,

and Gary Johnson is finally president! Of a marijuana cough drop company.

Meanwhile,

an analysis of several Bigfoot hair samples suggests that legendary creature is some kind of wolf/ cow/raccoon/bear hybrid,

Target is asking that people please stop bringing huge guns into their stores,

whereas the state of Georgia says it's okay for you to bring guns wherever you want! Including bars, government buildings and airports,

and in a revelation straight from my nightmares, plants can hear themselves being eaten.