http://alibi.com/blog/w3471/article.html

news

The Daily Word in mole man invasions, pot blocking and lame witchcraft

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Jul 30 2014 9:07 AM ]
The Daily Word

Well, kids, let’s see what’s going on in the news today:

The city of Albuquerque has decided that supporters of a marijuana decriminalization measure need to have more signatures on their petition than the city had originally told them. OOPS. Too bad the deadline was Monday. And no, they don’t get an extension.

Murderers of a retired educator in Chimayo claim to have held a ‘witchcraft’ ceremony after the killing. Which sounds super creepy, but apparently only involved "wrapping a ribbon in something and putting it in a baggie." I guess it's creepy if the 'something' was an eyeball. But way less creepy if the 'something' was a, I dunno, pencil. Basically, my feelings about this story are dependent on what got wrapped in a ribbon and then put into a baggie.

An Albuquerque man tried to stretch the family food budget by killing, then butchering the family dog. Which was a chihuahua, by the way, which could feed maybe one person? I don't think this guy thought things through.

And the Duke City is due to become the Cake City this weekend. Cake kind of sounds like Duke and it’s the best I could come up with before my coffee hits bottom. Also, I’m still thinking about that witchcraft thing. And the pot thing. And the dog thing. Is there something wrong with the state this week?

A team of surgeons removed 232 teeth from the mouth of a 17-year old boy in India.

Two more mysterious holes leading to the blackest depths of the Earth have opened up in Siberia. Scientists think it’s happening because of an eruption of gas, but the Internet thinks it’s probably mole men.

And Harrison Ford’s ankle injury is probably going to prevent puffins from having sex. Dammit, Harrison Ford. First Indy 4 and now this?